Saturday, March 31, 2007

MARs probe discover Martian nematode worm

Source: LeSolara News Agency
The probe that was launched into space and landed on Mars has discovered a Martian fossil. It looked like a nematode worm. Dr William Kandinsky, one of the researchers responsible for the Mars probe design was excited over the findings. He told reporters at a press conference yesterday: "All of us are excited over this discovery. For the first time, we have discovered alien multi-cellular life in the Red Planet. It's possible that more complex lifeforms may exist in the vast expanse of the universe where conditions are suitable for the development of life."
It was rumored that the team responsible for the design of the Mars probe considered designing more advanced probes and sending them to Mars to look in every nook and cranny for signs of complex life. However, Dr William added cautiously,"as much as we want to extensively explore the Red Planet, the reality is that we need funds to proceed, and I would like to appeal for the support of the US President in this endeavour. However, I would urge more calm and restrain as it is only an idea thrown out during the euphoria of the fossil discovery."
For researchers at SETI (Search for Extra Terrestial Intelligence), there was cause for celebration. Dr Alain Armstrong remarked:"The Mars probe has shown to us the first signs of complex life. This has given hope to those who have dedicated their lives to searching for extra terrestial intelligent life."
Even a select group of people, especially those who claimed to be abducted by UFOs felt vindicated by the discovery. We interviewed Mr Joel Ninewater, who has been claiming to be a victim of alien abduction. He claims to have entered a gateway into an alien world whilst hiking through the Amazonian forests. He further claims that the aliens treated him like a laboratory rat, inserting funny objects into his genitals. He vividly remembered one experiment where his head was severed from his body and placed near his foot. Amazingly he survived to tell the tale. When told of the Mars nematode worm, Mr Joel loudly exclaimed:"I am not surprised at this finding! I was fed with worm-like looking stuff when I was a lab rat! I ain't surprised if Mars was of those aliens' labs!"
We approached a prominent biologist, Dr Charles Dawkin, and asked him to give a species name to this nematode worm. Dr Charles politely declined, mentioning as a matter of fact that the honor should go to the discoverers of this nematode worm instead. We proceeded to ask Dr William if he had any species name in mind for this nematode worm. Dr William's immediate reply was that he might need to enrol in additional latin classes before he can even think of a name for this nematode worm since the species name of organisms is in latin most of the time.
If you have read the above article, you would realize that it is a product of my fabrication. Earlier on, the name of my fabricated news agency was called Solara News Agency. I realized that such an agency existed, and have since changed it to LeSolara News Agency in order to avoid misrepresentation. HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY TO ALL!!!!!!!!!

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