The craving for a refuge

I have just made inroads as I contemplated further on the philosophy of LIFE. It was an unusual event that has "enlightened" me.

A ex-classmate cum project mate of mine was a committed Christian. She was into church activities, helps out in bible studies and plays in a church band. I was more or less aware of her beliefs during the days when we worked together on group projects. I graduated before her, but we still keep in contact, but curiously our topic always veer towards Christianity. It's also a curious position for me, because I consider myself a staunch critic of Christianity. I am a self-confessed avid reader of Bertrand Russell and Friedrich Nietzsche, the former who gave an exhaustive explanation why he isn't a Christian and the latter, known for launching a series of philosophical diatribes on Christianity.

Thus, it's inevitable that in one of the conversations that I launched into a rebuttal of Christianity. Admittedly, I also mentioned things to her like why Christianity is the second most disliked religion here. I also spoke of my cheeky pun at a pastor who conducted services at my grandfather's funeral. I actually asked the pastor,"hey, don't you think the use of sheeps as a description in Christianity is little inappropriate, because sheeps will eventually be fleeced and be sent to a slaughterhouse? Okay, I know I stepped outside the boundaries for once. I also told this classmate of mine that I could not really tolerate Christian groups launching agendas against sexual minorities like gays and lesbians. Don't mistake me for a homosexual, I am a straight, but I feel that everyone deserves a breathing space, a right to employment into the Singapore civil service, irregardless of sexual orientation.

Later on, I thought through my experiences philosophically especially why I seem to observe that some people follow their beliefs in a steadfast fashion. A realization soon struck me. Each and everyone of us craves for a refuge. Some refuges are permanent, whilst others are temporary. A non-performing ex-champion seeks refuge in the memories of his past victories as a source of solace for his current defeats. A practising Buddhist seeks refuge in the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, and like-wise, a Christian seeks refuge in the arms of the Lord. It is inevitable at various times of our lives, we need shelter from the storms we face, and a refuge is a necessity. I for one admittedly seek refuge in my philosophical imagination, a mental getaway from all the strife out there. It's where my mind leaves my body and I float around in some noumenal realm (not in specific reference to Kant's noumenal realm). Thus, it can be said that the craving for a refuge is a primal urge. There is no denying the importance of a refuge, as it not only allows a person to be temporarily free from the storms, it is also a place of recovery for a person, mentally and to a certain, physically (placebo effect).

Perhaps, it is destiny, Christians call it God's will, Muslims refer to it as Allah's will, Buddhists call it Karma, etc, that I met this classmate of mine. And that my meeting and discussions with her gave me important philosophical insights. I am still what I am, just that I learn to appreciate the why my fellow homo sapiens chose to harbor certain beliefs. Religionwise, I am still at the same station as I was, no I am still not a Christian. (Sorry for the anti-climax)